I didn’t know EP would be there. I knew of him because he is an integral part of our community. We live in different countries but I had once been in the same room as him before when I attended a 3-night event he put on. I remembered him differently. Not one to truly catch my eye.
As soon as I met up with my group of friends Thursday night, he was there. We shook hands and I blushed. He had black, wavy close-cropped hair and piercing ocean-colored eyes. He was fit and looked like he worked out, unlike a lot of his peers in his age range.
Over that night I could feel his gaze on me. I returned it. The next day we all met up again and I loved listening to him speak. He had an unusual accent and he spoke slowly. I savored every word.
I felt his attraction to me and I hope he felt mine. The second night he noted my dress and pointed out how I stood out and he appreciated the effort I made amongst a bunch of sometimes average, sometimes grubby kids. Another time he commented on how sweaty he was (it was sizzling hot over those four days; and the venues provided very little respite). I told him we were all sweaty and probably a bit stinky. He said he bet I wasn’t.
He backed off a little bit when my partner joined us halfway through the weekend. I wonder if EP thought differently of me when he thought I may have been single. I’m sure he did. It’s always heartbreaking when you see someone look at you differently, interact with you differently. I want to say: please don’t stop.
The last night he said something to me that took me aback. It was true, but it was not something I say of myself, something I believe in, nor something I ever say out loud. I downed two drinks quickly after that. A flush flowed over me the rest of the evening and when we said goodbye he kissed me on the cheek and gave me an all-enveloping full-body hug. We fit like puzzle pieces. I did not want to let go.
